For the longest time, weight loss existed as this ever-present reminder that I needed to change something about me. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel the need to change the number on the scale in order to feel better about myself. Yet every time I googled weight loss I was led toward some goofy diet plan or workout challenge that was never sustainable for me. Now that I’ve lost 20 pounds and counting, I am realizing that the weight had more to do with things outside of just diet and exercise. Here are some revelations in my own personal wellness journey that I hope can help others too:
Understand that your body reflects more than food.
Your physique is often a direct reflection of your upbringing, learned eating habits, relationship with discipline and, therefore, yourself. Your body not only stores fat but emotions and events noteworthy enough to train you to either distract and avoid or tune into a past emotion it wishes to recall. This sometimes happens when you miss someone or something. Regardless, understanding that your mental state is a key indicator in how you are going to show up in the world is the first step.
Express what needs to be expressed.
Let your emotions out. Whether that is journaling, video diaries, writing music, or talking to a therapist or close friend/family member, do it. Stop bottling your emotions in and misunderstanding your needs. Make sure you are getting time to process what is happening to you on a day-to-day. When you’re younger, usually your parents do that for you. Adults cater to the emotions of a child because their young and don’t know any better. But as you grow older, you’re expected to figure yourself out and manage things yourself. Even if this isn’t taught. I suggest reading books about emotional intelligence and watching YouTube videos on self-development. Truly allow yourself to become engulfed with self-exploration.
Build a real relationship with food.
A lot of times we are just searching for whatever food is going to fill our stomachs and leave us satisfied for the next few hours. We simply want to feel full. That is a poor man’s mindset. It’s no one’s fault, but it is reality for most of us working class folk. Food is often seen as a burden, having to pay nearly $15 for a decent meal out or spend a good $100 - $200 on groceries for the week. It’s also a hassle trying to come up with meals throughout the week. Yet, it is because this area of life is no longer taught in our schools, and as a result has left a lot of us to remain ignorant. Understand that this is simply a ploy. The rich doesn’t want to teach you how to read a nutrition label because then, they’d have to up food costs by providing quality ingredients. Quality ingredients means a lower shelf life, which could result in food waste. However, instead of making that a business problem, they’ve decided to put the weight of their immoral business practices onto the people that they service. And the government allows it because responsibility is put upon us to make the decision of what we put into our bodies. Please understand that food education is so very important in today’s society. And when I say this, I’m pretty much reiterating to myself that it is key to learn about nutrition. There is a reason why so many celebrities or those with money have become plant-based, organic, pescetarian, or simply don’t eat fast food anymore. While we all assume it’s because they’re bougie and have the money to indulge in higher quality food, it’s also important to note that many have nutritionists or chefs that are skilled in the knowledge of ingredients and food preparation. Treat yourself like you deserve a well-planned meal. Learn to cook. Learn what vegetables are your favorite. And learn how to organize your fridge to accommodate your eating habits. Pack lunches, precut your fruits and vegetables, whatever it takes. Just begin to think of eating as fuel for your body.
Move your body (yes, exercise)
I don’t know how skinny people do it, but they actually go to the gym or workout in their homes or outside. People have the body they have because they actually put in the work for it. For most people without underlying health conditions, our bodies reflect our eating habits and our activity level. I’m sorry to say, but exercise is essential for a good and quality life. Notice I said life, not body. Now I’m no expert, but I will say, when I was playing a sport, I always felt energized and wasn’t depressed. From not exercising, I notice myself feeling like a slob. I’ve begun to feel like I don’t care and also slightly entitled. I tell myself I’d like a nice body but haven’t done anything heading towards that goal. Exercise is a humbling way of telling yourself, you can have nice things when you put in the work. And work is sometimes going to be uncomfortable.
Start slow
If you actually truly want to lose weight, you’ll realize that good things take time and loving your body is a process. You can’t go from neglecting your body to becoming strict on it and expect things to stick. Imagine doing that to a child, the kid would spiral and lead into a rebellion. And so will you when you become too restricting and begin to start scarfing all the cookies and chips in the pantry after a couple of days eating salads, broccoli, chicken, and rice. Stop treating yourself like a machine and start becoming in tune with your body. Listen to your needs and treat the temple that is your body like it needs to be taken care of. In this world it is very easy to become engulfed with work and school but just the same way you need sleep, your body needs nutrients and exercise.
Be fed up with stagnation
You got to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. Start becoming fed up with stagnation. It is not fun to keep fueling a life that is inauthentic to your true state of being. If being a certain shape or size is making you disappointed in yourself, learn to take every day as a step towards implementing change. Don’t just keep feeding into your cravings and subscribing your life away to habits that don’t properly represent you. You do not have to be a product of your circumstances. We live in such a time where inspiration is at the tips of our fingers. One little click away. Make those vision boards, make that screen saver, go on Pinterest, do whatever you need to do, but feed your mind new possibilities of how you can implement change.
Love yourself (but actually tho)
This could have been point #1 — but if you’ve made it this far, then you’re already on the right track. For example, I look at myself now and it feels like I’ve glowed down. I see chubby thick arms, a protruding belly, and a double chin. My “I don’t care” attitude has truly manifested itself to show the world, “F- off and leave me alone because that’s when I feel safest”. Yet I so desperately want connection. While my current aura is indeed correct, I don’t want anyone near me. Yet it is also perpetuating my false pretenses that I am indeed better off without the world. And that just isn’t true. When I see myself, I also see my hurts and history. I see an reflection of an image spit out due to her circumstances. And for that, I love myself enough to have patience in attempting to manifest a version of myself I proudly want to portray. So when I say love yourself, you should do it as you’d ask any boyfriend or girlfriend to. You’d want them to see past your physical appearance. You’d want them to know your pain and trauma and to kiss and make it better. So while you can’t kiss yourself, you can date yourself. You can understand yourself on the inside and ask the questions that need to be dove into. Write it out or just simply refer to number 2 and begin the self-exploration journey to see yourself for all that you are meant to be.
Ask God for deliverance
Now this advice might make some roll their eyes, but to me, it is essential and quite importantly the most significant. For me I suffered from gluttony. I ate when I wasn’t hungry, when I was bored, or simply because I was craving something. When I asked God for guidance, I also released my fleshly desires for him to correct. And now months later, I’ve found my appetite significantly decreased. The thing many don’t realize is when you go without God, you become susceptible towards idolizing anything. It could be a celebrity, a romantic interest, money, drugs or in my case food. Anything that helps you find a sense of peace and security that isn’t God is going to at some point corrupt your true identity. And my addiction to food, did that for me. Idolizing food may sound pathetic or laughable, but when you look at the world and its nature, you’ll see that many people do this. It’s like a legal and socially camouflaged drug of choice.
Overall, I hope you received the conviction to change but also realize the mental and physical obstacles that come from altering your body composition. Much of the work is mental and once you push yourself in that aspect, good things are bound to happen. Forever care for your body because in the end it will be the one tool taking care of you.